Seeing Them Live

S01E10 - Dave Matthews Rescues Pauline

Episode Summary

For the final episode in our first season of "Seeing Them Live," Charles welcomes Pauline Zdonek, an educational leader, professional learning designer, and Concert Mom, who shares her memorable concert stories. The focus is on Pauline's first concert, featuring Dave Matthews, a momentous experience that set the tone for her love of live music. The podcast delves into the serendipitous circumstances surrounding how Pauline ended up at the concert, and how Dave Matthews himself rescued her from fans who pushed their way in front of her and her friend at a backstage encounter.

Episode Notes

For the last episode of season one, Charles interviews Pauline, an educational leader, and professional learning designer. The narrative unfolds as Pauline recounts her 12-year-old-self attending a Dave Matthews Band concert in 1994, courtesy of tickets acquired through a connection to the tour manager. The excitement of the concert is heightened when, unexpectedly, they discover backstage passes in the envelope with their tickets. Pauline vividly describes the surreal experience of meeting Dave Matthews backstage, emphasizing his kindness and the impact it had on her as a young fan.

The conversation then shifts to Pauline's journey through her music preferences, from the rock scene of middle school to the boy band era in high school, featuring her appreciation for BBMak. The podcast highlights Pauline's recent experience attending a BBMak concert in 2023, where she joyfully embraced the nostalgia of cheesy boy band music surrounded by fans of the same era. 

The show turns toward Pauline's role as a concert mom when she talks about taking her family to see Ed Sheeran. The discussion touches on concert logistics, including the importance of selecting suitable seating for younger attendees and the significance of acquiring concert shirts as mementos. Pauline shares her son's enthusiasm for Ed Sheeran, recounting the family's exciting experience at the concert, breaking attendance records and creating lasting memories. 

Charles concludes the episode by discussing future concert plans and how the podcast has reignited his and Pauline's passion for live music. The episode leaves listeners with a sense of the diverse and enriching experiences that concerts offer, whether as a fan meeting a childhood idol or as a parent creating cherished memories with family.

BANDS MENTIONED: Dave Matthews Band, Dave Matthews, BBMak, Ed Sheeran, Bush, Silverchair, Harry Styles, Led Zeppelin, Jimmy Page (referenced indirectly in the episode), Backstreet Boys (mentioned in the context of boy bands), *NSYNC (mentioned in the context of boy bands), New Kids on the Block (mentioned in the context of boy bands).

VENUES MENTIONED: Amphitheater, Aragon Ballroom, Soldier Field, House of Blues.

Episode Transcription

[00:00:00] Charles: Today, my guest is Pauline Zidanek.

[00:00:02] Pauline is an educational leader and professional learning designer. She's been a teacher for many years, as well as a school administrator. Pauline is also a concert mom and a live music fan. Pauline, welcome to Seeing Them Live.

[00:00:16] Pauline: Thanks for having me.

[00:00:18] Charles: Originally, I was going to save the Dave Matthews story for the end, because it's such an awesome story, but I thought, this is the essence of this podcast, so I was just going to set up how you told me and my wife about this story, and then I'll let you take it from there.

[00:00:32] So you and I and my wife are at a brewery. Which is not uncommon. And, talk about this podcast and, you say, "Oh, I've told you guys about my Dave Matthews story." And I said, I don't think so. And then you went into the story and I'm like, this is the essence of this podcast because our tagline is "everybody has a concert story", and this is a good one.

[00:00:55] And the other ones are good too. So I thought we'd start with Dave Matthews. Was that your first concert?

[00:01:00] Pauline: That was my very first concert. I'm surprised I ever went to concerts after that. 

[00:01:04] Charles: Yeah. So, this is a good one. So go ahead. You were about 12 years old; I think you said something like that.

[00:01:10] Pauline: I was in sixth grade. And my friend, Jamie, her dad worked with the mother of the tour manager for Dave Matthews. So follow that train of six degrees of separation. So Jamie's dad got tickets from this lady she worked with, she got him some tickets. So Jamie took me and another of her friends and her dad took us all, cause we're 12, you know?

[00:01:31] And we went to a Dave Matthews band concert and it was really cool. You know, it was 1994. It was at the amphitheater. We drove, we got there, you know, this was back in the day of physical tickets. So we had to wait in the will call line and get our little envelope with our tickets at them. And they were pretty good seats.

[00:01:49] I think they were like row T or something. So, main section and I was 12 years old, right? '94. So, this is kind of the first experience with Dave Matthews and everything. I mean, he's still playing and everything. So we got our seats, we enjoyed the concert. We had a great time. And, at the end of the concert in the envelope with the tickets had been these like pink, like rectangular things. We didn't know they were. So, Jamie's dad's like, well, let's go ask somebody. So we walked up to the front by the stage where there's a big old security guard. And we're like, "Hey, what are these things?" He goes, " Those are backstage passes." She had not told him she was including those or anything.

[00:02:24] So the security guard pointed us in the direction. So, we asked around and we found our way backstage. This is a long time ago, obviously but I remember being in a windowless room, they escorted a bunch of other people who obviously had backstage passes back into a room and we waited for a little while and then after a while, door opens and Dave Matthews comes in.

[00:02:44] Pauline: Everyone's like, "Ahhh." and he starts from the door working one by one person by person, signing autographs and everything. And remember, we're 12-year-old girls at this point. So, we're at the height of like our coolness. And I mean that sarcastically, you know, we've got the braces, we've got our sweet like flannel and all that. But, I remember, because we were kind of towards the back of the room, he's trying to make his way around and work one by one. And, some older people are kind of cutting in front and trying to get in and talk to him and all that stuff and they keep kind of cutting in front of us.

[00:03:12] And again, we're 12-year-old girls we're, you know, starstruck we're in way in over our heads. And I remember he specifically, somebody had jumped in front of me, and he looked around her and pointed right at me and said, I'll be with you next. And I just thought that was so nice that he saw these young girls that were just waiting their turn.

[00:03:31] Everyone else is so excited to see him. And he specifically stopped, and came to us and signed each of our tickets next. And he said something nice to each of us. I remember he said something to me about, "Oh, you're so beautiful." And, signed the ticket, "Peace and beauty." And, you know, as a 12-year-old, socially awkward, totally self-conscious girl that like made my life, I was like, "Oh my God." So, I remember being like, "I love him. He's the best." But for years after, you know, I went to college, Dave Matthews was huge. Everyone's like, "Hey, you guys want to go, you want to go see Dave Matthews with us?" I'm like, "Nope, Nope, I'm good." You can't go see Dave Matthews after that.

[00:04:07] Charles: Yeah. That's awesome. Were you into Dave Matthews at the time then, Pauline, or was it more like he was just taking you a concert or were you a bit of a fan?

[00:04:16] Pauline: Yeah, we were starting to, right? Like, I feel like that sixth grade was the beginning of my music journey of, you know, moving away from what my parents had on the radio to finding my own songs. And I feel like, in middle school, high school, college, everybody loved Dave Matthews. Like that was just the thing, right?

[00:04:34] Charles: Yeah, because when you mentioned it at first, because I've seen Dave Matthews several times at the same venue at Tinley Park at the time was called the New World Music Theater. I forget what it's called now, but some, some bank pavilion or something. I don't know the name, but anyway, I was not at that show.

[00:04:52] But that's a great introduction to live music. I don't think it gets any better than that, right?

[00:04:58] Pauline: And I don't know that any concert has ever topped that either, right? So, like I started high and I should have just been like, I fold, I go home, I'm not doing any more concerts that's it. 

[00:05:06] Charles: I know. That's awesome. So, would you like to add anything more to that story at all? I know I'd asked you if, you remembered what he was wearing, cause I thought I found a video of that show, but I maybe had the wrong date of that. Like if you had remembered what he was wearing. 

[00:05:20] Pauline: Yeah, it was so long ago. I can like think what he was wearing, but I could totally also be making it up, you know? 

[00:05:26] Charles: So, there might be a video out there of the performance, because this one I found was from '96. It wasn't from '94, but anyway. 

[00:05:32] Okay, so was it around this time then, '94-ish, 6th grade, 7th grade, where you, you started to get into BBMak? I have to admit, I knew absolutely zero about this, basically boy band, right? Three guys from England? 

[00:05:48] Pauline: Yes. Well, I mean, you were not a teenage girl in the late nineties, so you are forgiven for not knowing all the different versions of, you know, instinct, Backstreet Boys, 90, all the different boy bands that came to play in that time period.

[00:06:01] Charles: Yeah. So that's where you, you started to get into them. I saw they formed around 1996 

[00:06:07] Pauline: Yeah, I would say. Middle school. So, Dave Matthews started my concert journey and I would say middle school is a solid rock fan. I saw like Bush in concert. I saw Silverchair at the Aragon ballroom. Yeah, I was definitely in over my head because I was still a middle school girl and there's like a whole, you know, the mash pits of the day going on. 

[00:06:28] And then I hit high school and that's where full teenage girl kind of took over. Boy bands became all the rage and, you know, everyone had their loyal boy band following. And I wouldn't even say they were like my, my most favorite. I enjoyed them. I had their CD. 

[00:06:46] They kind of became more popular when I started to get into college when like, you know, you're too cool for boy bands now, but I still had their CDs and I still listened to BBMac and I just enjoyed their music, because I've never said I'm a really cool music person.

[00:07:00] Charles: No, I mean, that's quite a, quite a variety actually. So, you had then recently, cause I asked you in our pre-interview back and forth emails, if you had seen them when they first came out live. And the reason I asked that is cause I happened to see New Kids on the Block back in 1990 on their hanging tough tour...

[00:07:20] Pauline: Wow.

[00:07:21] Charles: And I took some middle school girls, you know, my girlfriend at the time, it was her sister and friends. And when you hear 20,000 girls, like that screaming, it's like nothing you've ever heard before. It kind of reminds me of that Ed Sullivan clip where he introduces the Beatles for the first time. It sounds exactly like that, but the level of the audio it's crazy. So, I was wondering if that was kind of the same thing, but you hadn't ever seen them live until recently over the summer, right? 2023 in July, I believe. 

[00:07:56] Pauline: I wish I would have gone as a teenage girl to any of those concerts. Those would have been amazing just to experience, you know, that level of fandom, but no.

[00:08:05] Charles: So what was the crowd like then, all these years later when you just saw them and was it Ann Arbor, Michigan?

[00:08:11] Pauline: Yeah, yeah, I you know, something I was looking, it was kind of weird how it happened. I was looking at something, we were taking a trip to Disney, upcoming trip to Disney with the family. They have some concerts there and I was looking at the list and I remember something like I had scrolled far enough to see the comments and somebody had written in the comments like why does a BBMac play?

[00:08:31] You know, they were so big with Disney. I was like, are they still even around, you know, like most boy bands by this point have broken up and they're all doing their own thing. So, I just Googled it and they sure were still around and lo and behold, they were playing in Ann Arbor and I thought, Oh man, that'd be so fun.

[00:08:47] I would totally go to Ann Arbor and see them. That was the closest they were coming around here, but it was like a Wednesday. I was like, “Oh man, I can't, you know, go on a Wednesday.” And then. A few weeks later, I had some work trip that I had to book and I was going to be in the area on that Wednesday. And so, I called up my cousin and my friend from college.

[00:09:05] I said, "Hey, you guys come to a BBMac concert with me?" And they're like, "Yeah, sure. Why not?" So we went, it was a smaller venue, you know, with just like the stage, kind of like a, I think the size of like a comedy show or a small, you know, theater type of thing. And it would solidly be mostly about women in their late thirties, early forties, who clearly all grew up loving BBMac.

[00:09:30] Some of them dragged their husbands along, their boyfriends and I thought they were the best sports ever, and we all just crowded the stage and they played all of their hits, all their favorite songs. The girls sang along, we all, we squealed, you know, it certainly wasn't like a stadium or anything like that. 

[00:09:48] But one girl actually brought her poster from like her bedroom from home. I mean, the fact that she kept this and like, they put it up on stage and they were making comments about their hairstyles and everything. I was like, wow, you're a dedicated fan. 

[00:10:01] But it was fun. It was fun to just let loose, no judgment, just enjoy that cheesy boy bands, music that you loved and sing along and, you know, just, be at one with the music. Have a good time.

[00:10:15] Charles: That's awesome. Yeah, that's, that's really cool. That week, as it turns out, was kind of a busy week for you, because then three days later on Saturday, you went to see Ed Sheeran.

[00:10:26] Pauline: Yes.

[00:10:27] Charles: But in this capacity, not a BBMac super fan, but this is you acting as a concert mom, although you might like Ed Sheeran. I don't know. But, did both of your boys go, to the concert? 

[00:10:38] Pauline: We took the whole family. Yeah. So, both boys got their first concert experience, but it was for my younger son. He is a diehard Ed Sheeran fan. I don't know how he came on to it. He found him on Spotify. Liked him on the radio, something happened and he became a diehard. 

[00:10:53] So for his birthday, I found out like, I think it was all of last year. That he was coming in concert. I joined the fan club so you can get the 24 hour ahead of time, pre-sale tickets. I sat online, you know, for the 20 minutes where that little like bar, you know, tells you how what place you are to get tickets. And we got tickets. So I got tickets for the whole family.

[00:11:13] So it was their first concert. Yeah.

[00:11:15] Charles: That's awesome. Now I know because you guys go to sporting events and stuff. So was he used to being in a crowd that large because I was doing some research on the concert and it broke an attendance record of 73,000 people were there. That's a lot of people, you know, in one spot, but I know you guys go to a major league baseball games and stuff, so were they okay with that? 

[00:11:35] Pauline: Yeah, they were used to like walking in the crowds, like they were used to the crowds. I had a friend that gave some good advice. She had suggested, it was at Soldier Field, so she had suggested getting the first row, like even if you have to go up a level. to be at the first row because your kids aren't at this stage going to want to stand for the three hours of the show.

[00:11:54] And you know, people will stand and everything. So, we, I specifically got the first row of like the 300 levels. So, the boys could sit the whole time and be able to watch directly. So yeah, they were fine with the crowd, but it was exciting. They announced while we were there that he had broken the attendance record and Beyonce had like just been there.

[00:12:10] So we're like, "Woo. All right, go Ed."

[00:12:12] Charles: That's cool. That's great advice. Because was going to mention it was over the summer, we saw Harry Styles. My daughter is a huge Harry Styles fan and it was in Portugal, in Lisbon. And, you know, I was really excited to take her, but the consideration like the seating, there was none.

[00:12:30] It was all general admission. I mean they broke up the crowd into these areas. So, we were on the front pitch. There was a back pitch, and then they're like three pits up front, and we were on the front pitch. But, yeah, walking into basically a sea of 60,000 people, you know, I sensed it was a little overwhelming at first, for our daughter.

[00:12:52] So you know, I hadn't thought of that really. But, I mean, it was fine because the fans are so nice at Harry Styles, you know, there's lots of moms with their daughters and such and women and things. It was a very nice crowd, but I think, yeah, getting a seat, there weren't any to get in this case at this venue. 

[00:13:10] Pauline: Did you guys have to stand the whole time then?

[00:13:12] Charles: We did, yeah. 

[00:13:14] Pauline: Oh my gosh. How did she handle it? 

[00:13:17] Charles: It was okay. You know, we took a little break. We went out and we got some water, you know, and we still had pretty decent, I say seats. We were in an area next to some of the refreshments and things they were selling. But yeah, it's, it's all things to consider because as an adult, you know, like, oh, yeah, let's go or let's do this.

[00:13:35] But yeah, how is this person who's 10 or 12 or 13 or whatever going to react in this environment? So that's great advice. I was going to ask you if you had any advice as a concert mom. That's a good one.

[00:13:47] Pauline: That was key. Now, the very first thing we did, so we didn't have to worry about it later on too, was we went and we bought a concert shirt. Cause like, I remember back in the day, getting a concert shirt was like a big deal. So, I wanted my son to have his first concert shirt and everything, and I didn't want to deal with crowds later on or trying to like, if we got to our seats and all that stuff. So, we found a spot, we got our concert shirt. Did Lily get her concert shirt? 

[00:14:10] Charles: We did, and we did that too. Yeah, right when we got there, we went to the merch table and he had all sorts of things you could buy. So she got her concert shirt and, you know, when she went back to school in August, then she proudly wore it to school, like I had done when I was her age wearing my concert shirts. 

[00:14:29] Pauline: So, did Brandon. He laid it out day one. That was his first day's school shirt. Yep. I have to admit, I've got a shirt as well, being sentimental, my baby's first concert. So, I can always remember that as well.

[00:14:40] Charles: Yeah, because, well, our daughter, she's 13. My wife has already kind of laid claim to that shirt. I think she's worn it or wants to wear It's the same size. I don't think I can squeeze into that shirt. I won't be wearing it.

[00:14:52] Well, Pauline, anything else you wanted to chat about or anything. Any concerts on the horizon?

[00:14:59] Pauline: No, man. I don't know. I feel like I was so diehard in my youth, right? And then the, craziness of the early childhood years when the kids are little and stuff like that. I got so far out of it. And now I've like rediscovered it. Like these last two, the BBMac and Ed Sheeran have reinvigorated, like, "Oh yeah, we can do this now."

[00:15:21] One, the kids are old enough. We can go to them. And two, like, I can keep an eye out for these things now. And so it's kind of exciting to realize that that part of our life is coming back into the fold.

[00:15:32] Charles: Yeah. I keep all my ticket stubs and I had a lot of them. And so I was arranging them one day and I did see like, so it is like a bell shaped curve. At the peak, I was going to like almost a concert every week in my twenties. 

[00:15:45] So yeah, I've been reinvigorated myself recently, and actually going with some previous guests to see a concert at the House of Blues in January. So we're uh, all getting together on a recommendation from Art, who is in episode called "Jimmy Page Calls in Sick."

[00:16:02] So we're going to see this Led Zeppelin tribute band in January called Led Zeppelin II and getting together with some other guests So if you're not doing anything that night, Pauline you could, I don't know if you're into Led Zeppelin. 

[00:16:14] Pauline: I don't know. BBMac and Len Zeppelin are really in those like, but I do have eclectic taste, but yeah, I don't, I don't know about that.

[00:16:21] Charles: Well, we'll have to keep it in mind and I'd love to go to a concert with you. So um, anything else you'd like to add in closing?

[00:16:28] Pauline: No. Nothing I can think of.

[00:16:30] Charles: Okay. All right. Well, uh, this has been awesome and uh, I love learning things about people I know, about their music. You know, their tastes and concerts they've been to, and since I started this, it's like, you know, some of my best friends, I don't know what the first concerts were that they went to. It's fun to kind of uncover it.

[00:16:48] Why they like the music or went to the show and who they were with. So uh, this has been great. I appreciate your time.

[00:16:56] Pauline: Yeah, this has been fun. It might be my next holiday uh, conversation starter with the family or friends. Like, just that exact question.

[00:17:04] Charles: Yeah. And of course, you know, we're always looking for guests. So, if they have some good stories to, send them our way.

[00:17:10] Pauline: For sure.

[00:17:11] Charles: All right. Well, thanks again, Pauline.

[00:17:13] Pauline: All right. Thank you.

[00:17:14] Charles: All right. See ya.